Perfectionism...

Some people think that I'm obsessive and a perfectionist. I think they're nuts!!!

Anyhoo, I found and bought the most perfect thing in the world for me... socks labelled with the day on them! That way, you know which sock to wear on what day! What could be better than that! honestly!

I know some of you are going to try to ruin this for me by saying... 'what happens if you lose one?' or ' what if one develops a hole in it?' Nice try guys. That's simple... I'd have to throw all of them out.

Anyway, this introspection comes on the cusp of a couple of other things that have been on my mind. I've honestly come to terms with the fact that I am a perfectionist in many ways. I just don't like when things are off. And I've actually become comfortable with it. But I've come to realize that while this can be used to glorify God, it can also become an idol in and of itself. If my striving to make something perfect for God, REPLACES the One who it's for... then I've created an idol. It's kind of like our last Genesis bible study, where people in the OT would make idols out of whatever's at hand (wood, silver, gold...). Precious to me... detestable to God. Something needs to change.

Another aspect that this affects is also ministry. I am totally for excellence and doing our best for God. But if in the pursuit of that I don't encourage ppl or worse scare ppl off serving God, then that's also not in line with God's heart. Because the goal of service is not doing something, it's what happens in our relationship with God as we serve... that's the goal! Yes, there are standards and those need to be kept and met. But there's also space for grace, and time for growth in our service. And that's what I need to keep in mind with the ministries I'm in charge of. And honestly, readers, you have NO IDEA how many times I've suggested the most idiotic idea to the rest of the boys at church and Pastor V would just look at me and smile that Cheshire smile and say "sure... we could try that but, how about we..." ~ space for grace, time for growth.

In light of that... if we try something new with Genesis and our university group to promote community and accountability... let's do it! I'll make sure we're on track spiritually, but this will be run and organized by you! Looking forward to a summer of growth!

Into the Cipher...

In breakdancing there is one thing that strikes fear in my heart. Is it that I'll crack my neck? No. Is it that I'll slip and break an ankle? No. That I'll strain something? No. It is, in fact, the dreaded cipher/sipher.  This is basically where you have the entire class form a circle and clap in beat while you try to put together a couple of sad sad dance moves. It ain't pretty.

 It's bad enough that I can barely walk according to the beat ~ you're supposed to walk around the inner part of the circle your classmates make.

 It gets worse when you have a feeling in your stomach that when Frost (instructor) says "that's sick" he really means that you look sick doing it, and it's not some cool street term.

 And finally, I feel that it's the ultimate taboo to simply stop what you're dancing and try to think of another move while everyone's just staring... honestly, it's like time STOPS. And then you put together another half hearted effort to keep going. For those of you who have done piano recitals... it's the feeling when you totally forget where you are and you just stop playing. But with ppl clapping, you keep trying like a hero. So it's almost like watching someone who's stopped playing at a recital, but keeps trying to play the song with just his left hand. Yes I know... everyone's cringing for me right now.  That's what happened to me not once, but TWICE last week.

I think it has to do with my music background. See the thing is, I feel like I have to wait and start on the ONE beat. But what happens is that it's too fast, I can't start properly... so I wait, becuase it would just be weird to start on beats TWO, THREE or FOUR. No I have to wait for ONE again. But then, once again, I'm thinking too hard and I forget to come in. So there I am waiting for another bar. The cycle continues... I try to throw something together... I'm embarassed... I walk off... I hear someone say "that's sick"

Things are NOT going according to plan. Hopefully just some laudable pus  for those of you Robertson Davies fans. Some encouragement please!

Year of Dance...

Last night the Genesis Ministry Team had a team building night... we went to a hip hop dance class! It was awesome! I think the girls looked okay doing it, but let's just say I wouldn't want a video of J, N or myself dancing that. Incidentally guys, those dance moves we learned yesterday are totally NOT in the Lady Sovereign video! I think the instructor might have just made it up... yah, I know!! I feel a little ripped off too!

Anyway, tonight a couple of us are going to the same place for a breakdancing class. My first one... excited!!

Now some of you may be wondering why is he doing all of this? Mid life crisis? A glutton for pain? Just plain crazy? Maybe a little of each of these… but the bottom line for me is that of freedom. The bible describes dancing as an act of joy, of freedom. And the honest truth is that physical expressions of freedom are totally NOT natural for this particular conservative Chinese boy. And so I'm learning. I'm learning about freedom. Freedom in spirit. Freedom in movement. Freedom in worship.

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me in joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. ~ Psalm 30:11-12

ETIQUETTE...

Ok, I'm open for ideas. When someone writes you a comment on xanga do you respond with:

1) Just your own comment

2) Your comment and beef up your eprops

Don't want to commit a xanga faux pas!